The Simple Living Journey
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Simplifying: Slowing Down in the Midst of Chaos
Take a few minutes for yourself over the next few days and think, really think, about what is important to you. Write it down. I know you're busy (we're all busy!), but if you can't find time to sit quietly and determine what is important in your life, then you are *too* busy. I've had to get off the roller coaster a few times myself, and step back and just see where I'm at. When you can see in black and white what your priorities are (reading your scriptures? reading to your children? creating harmony at home? living sustainably?), you will have an easier time determining what choices need to be made to help you focus your attention where it is most valuable. If your top priority is the gospel, yet you are too busy to read your scriptures or say meaningful prayers, then are you really living what you believe? You make time for what is important to you. You do have spare time, we all do. We just don't always pay attention to where our time is going. Make your list, and start eliminating things from your life that do not need to be there.
A key to a more simple existence is that if we eliminate the clutter (both physical clutter and mental clutter), we have more room in our lives for peace, joy, love, kindness... It creates an atmosphere that puts you more in tune with the Spirit, with yourself and with those you love.
Remember this: Busy people are happy because they are too busy to know what they are missing!
Make sure that if you are missing things, you are doing so by choice, and because the alternative is worth it. If not, it's time to re-prioritize.
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You gain a sense of wonder about life and about yourself when you step back and really look at where you are headed, and where you want to go. After you take time to narrow down your list of what's really important to you, it's time to do the dirty work.
Eliminate the excess in your daily life.
Most of the grief we experience in the hustle and bustle of daily life is when we say 'yes' to something that we really wanted to say 'no' to. Think about that for a moment. As women, especially, we want to be 'all things to everyone', but there comes a point where we have to examine our motivation. Do we say 'yes' because we really want to do it, or because we feel like we can't say 'no'?
People who say 'yes' are the ones that everyone calls for everything. Why call people that are careful about their time? Call Betty, she never says 'no' to anything. Who cares that she hasn't had 5 minutes to read to her children in the past week, or that she's so exhausted and overwhelmed that she and her family both suffer for it. Betty is running on adrenaline, and if she has to slow down for 5 minutes then she won't feel important. It's a terrible thing the way we schedule our lives so that we don't ever have to be alone with ourselves. We do it all in the name of being needed. It makes you feel important when you're the first one that everyone calls when they need something. But did you ever think that they aren't calling for any reason other than that they know you will say 'yes'? If you say 'no', they'll find someone else and life will continue. Don't believe me? Try it and you will see.
Think about some of the things you overcommit yourselves with... are they really worth the life energy you trade to do them? Are they worth feeling resentful with yourself later for not having the courage to say 'no'?
I'm not talking about not doing service. On the contrary. I believe serving others is very important as we endeavor to become more like our Savior, Jesus Christ. There is a difference between rendering service to those in need, and giving away our time to unimportant tasks. In fact, the more we pack our schedules, the less ability we have to render service where it is really needed. We are too busy to notice the struggles that others may face in our very midst. We may be too busy to realize one of our children is struggling, or that our spouse needs encouragement, or that someone we Visit Teach is having a difficult time. If we are too busy to be aware of those around us... well, what does that tell you?
You know you need to eliminate excess. You look at your list of priorities. Now look at your calendar for the week. Look at how you've spent your time today. Do you reflect your priorities in the way you spend your time? If not, what can be eliminated? Start small. It's overwhelming to eliminate a lot at once. Trust me, I speak from experience.
Eliminate one major excess from your life. Don't eliminate things that are meaningful and that reflect your values, but remember that there are a whole lot of really 'good' things in this world and you have to choose. Time is a limited commodity. You can 'have it all', but only when you re-define what that means. Being everything to everyone is not the road that gets you there.
Think about it and take a deep breath. You can do it.
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Do You Know What You Have & Do You Really Want It?
Once the simplification process has begun, the things around you begin to look different. You start to see them, almost for the first time. You become more aware of the fact that you have two cheese graters, a kitchen gadget you've never learned to use, bottles of hair products and make-up that have sat on your shelf for 2-3 years, clothes you haven't been able to wear since before your children were born.... You wake up and realize you have an awful lot of stuff and you don't even use it all.
A funny thing happens when we surround ourselves with stuff. First of all, we need more containers and furniture to put the stuff in. Then we stack more stuff on top of what we've already got, and eventually we can't find what we need when we need it, or else we completely forget that we have it in the first place. What use is an item that you need, if you either don't know you have it, or can't find it?
If you're like me, and I suspect that many people are, you may find it difficult to get rid of stuff because you think eventually you may need it. The keywords here are: eventually and may. Sure, I've gotten rid of something and later realized I needed it and wished I had kept it. Yet, more often than not, I have a need for something that I don't think I have and go buy another one, only to later discover that I actually already had one but that it was stashed away in a plastic tote in the garage. So, which is worse? Having it and not knowing, or not having it? Most of the time when I let things go, I never miss them.
It is easy to de-junk when you are just getting rid of things that are broken or outdated. Before you count yourself finished, make sure you take a second look. Are there things you are overlooking that you could live without? I have found that there are items in my house that I get so used to looking at, I don't even think about them being there. Sometimes you need to look with fresh eyes.
Another quick suggestion when it comes to simplifying your stuff is to get rid of items that stir up negative emotions. If you have trinkets and doo-dads that remind you of negative experiences, why keep them? You want to make space in your home for things that evoke feelings of joy, beauty and peace. The further you journey into living simply, the less you will want to have things around just for the sake of having them. You will see how empowering it is to let go of things that mean nothing to you, and to create room for things that you love.
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More commentary coming soon...
All articles (C) Marie Greene
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